


I Don't Care How Broken You Are

by FallenBridesmaid, LilyPajon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcoholism, Homophobic Slurs, M/M, Trigger Warning: Cutting, Trigger warning: child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 11:33:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenBridesmaid/pseuds/FallenBridesmaid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyPajon/pseuds/LilyPajon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Castiel.. You know I'm not that stupid right?" Dean said softly stroking the boy's hand with his thumb soon his thumb moved down to Castiel's wrist, stroking the cuts that littered the blue eyed boy's wrist. "I know the signs." He whispered.</p><p>Castiel kept his eyes downcast and tried in vain to cover his wrist with his sleeve. But it was too late, Dean knew and that terrified Castiel more than anything. He was going to leave him now, the only good thing that ever happened to him and he fucks it up two days after it happens. Great job, Castiel, he thinks. Great fucking job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Care How Broken You Are

**Author's Note:**

> An RP I've been doing lately. Probably more to come later.

Castiel had three brothers. Michael was the oldest at twenty two, he was controlling and didn’t give a shit about anyone except their father. Lucifer was the second oldest at twenty years old, he rarely was ever home because he was too busy out selling drugs at unreasonable prices. Then there was Gabriel, nineteen, who moved out as soon as he finished high school. Which left Cas as the baby of the family at age fifteen.

As Cas hid in his bedroom, working at bandaging his wrists before the blood stained the floor, he suddenly wished he had just left with Gabriel.

Dean Winchester had just moved to another motel with his younger brother and his dad. His brother, Sam, was 13. Dean had taken care of him since the day their mother had died in a house fire and his dad had started drinking. He’d take the hits when his dad had come home late from the bars but at 15 as he laid in his uncomfortable motel bed, covered in cuts and bruises, he wished angels were really looking after him like his mother had told him.

Cas sighed as he finished wrapping his wrists. The only blood that managed to drip off his arms had landed on his jeans. No problem, he’d just tell his Dad that he’d gotten into another fight with Crowley or Balthazar at school again. Not that his father would care all that much but it was better to drive away any suspicions he might get. Cas did get into fights at school sometimes, but more often than not the blood on his clothes turned out to be from his little habit than from the bullying.  
~  
Dean had ended up staying awake all night staring at the ceiling, unable to get comfy, not sure if that was because of the bruises his father left on his ribs or the creaky motel bed. He was awake when his father had left at 6 am and he was awake to help his brother get ready for school, even after he had insisted he was a “teenager” now and he could do it himself. At 7:30, Dean and Sam entered their ‘67 Chevy Impala and made their way to their new school. It had been the fifth one this year but something told Dean that there’d be something different about this school.

The next morning, Cas left the comfort of his bed to drag his ass to school, not even bothering to change his clothes from yesterday. He walked the five blocks from his house to the high school and sighed as an old black car drove past, effectively drenching him with muddy water from the side of the road. “Damnit!” He cursed and kept walking. He could see the school just up ahead and, just his luck, the old car was pulling into the parking lot.

Dean and Sam got out of the car at the same time. “You go ahead, Sammy…” Dean said, leaning against the Impala. He wanted to check on the kid he’d drenched. It was an accident! He didn’t see the boy and he wanted to apologize and help him clean up. Sam quirked an eyebrow at his older brother but mumbled a quick “whatever.” Dean laughed and shook his head. “Bitch!” He yelled to the younger Winchester, earning a “Jerk.” back at him.

Castiel ignored the scene of the brothers and headed into the school. He ignored the stares he received fro people in the hallway and went to his locker where Crowley was waiting for him, smirking. “What happened to you?” Crowley asked. “Go for an early morning swim in a swamp?”

“Fuck off, Crowley.” Cas sighed and pushed him a few steps away from his locker,

 

Dean followed the boy and sighed as he saw the other students staring at him. He stopped when the boy had obviously reached his locker. Another boy had met him at the locker and Dean could vaguely make out that he had a British accent and that he was attempting to torment him. Dean couldn’t just stand by and watch it so he carefully walked up behind the British boy. “Hey!” He said, trying to catch the prick’s attention.

Crowley turned around and raised and eyebrow at the newcomer. “Yes?” He asked, smirk still in place. Cas rolled his eyes and took the chance to get in his locker to retrieve his books and throw his soaking wet jacket in as well. Maybe while Crowley was distracted, he would forget all about Cas. Though he had the chance to quietly slip away to class, he decided to stick around and watch what transpired between the new boy and Crowley.

 

“Give the kid a break or I’ll break your face.” Dean threatened, his right balling into a fist. He didn’t want to get into a fight on his first day of school but something made hi want to protect the blue eyed kid.

 

Crowley’s smirk turned into a grin. “Is that so?” He asked. “And how do you plan on doing that?” Dean didn’t exactly seem like a threat to Crowley, so he figured he wouldn’t try to fight back. Besides, Dean was new here. What reason did he have to protect Castiel when he didn’t even know him? Cas was thinking along the same lines. He couldn’t believe the new boy was going to get in a fight with Crowley just because he was fucking with Cas. Nobody else ever cared, so why did the new kid?

 

“I’m gonna give you five seconds to back off or I will rip your lungs out, crumpet.” Dean said, his knuckles turning white now and he was so about to knock the British boy’s lights out.

 

“Why? I haven’t done anything I wouldn’t do any other day. What makes today any different?” Crowley questioned, though he did take a step back. He got in fights all the time, but never with anyone who actually had a chance of hurting him. Crowley actually liked his lungs, thank you very much, so he figured he’d step down a little. Cas was watching the whole exchange with wide eyes.

 

“Today I’m here and if you so much as breathe near him, I’ll rearrange your face, capisce?” Dean was all up in Crowley’s personal space now. He was well beyond the point of caring about exclusion. The blue eyed boy didn’t deserve this at all.

 

Crowley threw his hands up in surrender. “Fine.” He agreed. “Fine, I’ll leave the freak alone.”  
Cas couldn’t believe his ears. Crowley, the meanest kid in their grade, was actually going to leave him alone? All because of this new kid? It had to be a miracle. 

 

Dean smirked as the he watched the British kid walk away in defeat, the looked back at the other boy. “I’m Dean.” He introduced himself, putting his hand out for the other boy to shake.

 

“I’m Castiel. Thanks for getting rid of Crowley.” Cas said thankfully. He took Dean’s hand and shook it, smiling. Maybe Dean was going to be his friend.

“No problem. He’s a dick.” Dean said, letting his hand linger before letting go of Castiel’s hand. “Your name… After an angel, right? Angel of… Thursday?” He asked. He remembered his mother had told him about the angels when he was little.

Cas nodded. “Yeah/ My father is very religious. All of my brothers are named after angels as well.”

Dean smiled slightly. “I like it.. It suits you.” He said quietly. “Oh, I was coming to see if you needed some clothes, ya know, because of…” Dean trailed off, gesturing to Castiel’s muddy clothes. “I have some you could borrow. “ He added.

“Yeah, I was just gonna let my clothes dry while I did class but since you offered. Thank you, Dean.” Cas smiled. Dean was being so nice to him, it was kind of strange.

“Come on then, Cas.” Dean said, wrapping an arm over the boy’s shoulder and walking with him to the bathrooms.

Cas nodded and allowed himself to be led into the bathrooms. Before he started undressing, he looked at Dean questioningly. “How come you brought a change of clothes to school?” he asked curiously.

“I’m weird like that.” Dean said with a smile and threw the clean clothes to Cas. He was lying though, he kept them just in case he found the balls to run away from his dad. He never did though, he couldn’t leave Sammy alone with him.

“Okay then.” Cas shrugged and went into one of the stalls with the clothes. He took off his shirt and threw it on the floor before wiggling out of his jeans and letting them drop to the floor as well. He put on the jeans Dean had given him first before donning the black tee and red plaid button up. When he finished getting dressed, he picked up his wet clothes and went back out to Dean. “What do we do with these?” He asked, indicating the dripping garments. “ If I put them back in my locker, the rest of my books will get wet.”

“Put ‘em in my bag, I haven’t got any books in it yet.” Dean said, throwing his green duffel bag to Castiel.

Cas nodded and set the bag on the floor. He folded his wet clothes and neatly tucked them into the duffel bag. "Thank you again, Dean." He said sincerely.

"You gotta stop thanking me, man. It's no problem!" Dean said, taking his duffel back from Castiel and slinging it over his shoulder.

Castiel nodded. "I just... Sure." He didn't want to tell him he had no friends and that he was the only person who had been nice to him the whole year.

"Now.. I have to get my time table.. Uh.. Can you show me the way to the office?" Dean asked, once again putting his arm over the smaller boy's shoulder.

"Sure. Come on." Cas smiled and lead him down the hall to the office. The secretary looked up from her computer and smiled brightly when they walked in. 

"Can I help you, boys?" She asked cheerfully.

"Hello, I'm Dean Winchester.. I'm new." Dean explained leaning with one arm resting. on the reception table but still having one arm around Castiel's shoulder.

"Oh yes," She paused, typing something on her computer. "I have your schedule right here." She hit a button and the printer kicked on. She grabbed the paper the printer produced and handed it to Dean with a smile.

Dean returned the smile as he took the timetable. "Thanks." He said before turning around and leaving the small office.

Castiel followed him out of the office without a second glance at the secretary. "So, what class do you have first?" He asked. 

Dean stopped outside the office door and examined his time table. "English with Mr... Singer."he replied.

Castiel smiled brightly. "That's my first class too." He said as they began walking again. 

Dean smiled and followed Cas, he liked the kid. He didn't really understand why that Crowley kid was teasing him, there was nothing wrong with the blue eyed boy. 

 

After a few minutes, they reached the door to their English class and walked in. The room was only about half full, class didn't start for ten more minutes. "You should ask Mr.Singer for your textbook." Cas suggested, heading towards the back of the room where he usually sat. He had a feeling Dean would sit with him sooner or later. 

Dean nodded and walked up to the desk where a man was sitting, he assumed it was Mr. Singer. "Hey, Im the new kid." He said to the older kid. "Oh, Dean Winchester. Here's a text book, you can sit next to Castiel." Mr. Singer said as he passed Dean a textbook. "Thanks." Dean said, flashing a smile before turning around and walking to the back where Castiel was seated. 

Cas smiled brightly when he heard Mr.Singer assign Dean to sit with him. He couldn't believe his luck.Someone who actually liked him got to sit with him! That never happened before, mostly because nobody liked him.  
"So, tell me about yourself, Dean." Cas said eagerly. He wanted to know all about his new friend's life. 

Dean froze at Castiel's request. He couldn't tell him everything.. About how his dad would get drunk and beat him every night.. About how he wanted to run away and never come back. "Uh..." He started.. "Not much to tell. I live with my Dad and little brother Sammy.. We move around a lot.. My mom died in a house fire when I was 3..." Dean said quickly, trying to avoid any subject involving himself. "How about you, Cas?" He asked with a small smile. 

Castiel considered the question and which parts he should tell him about. Probably shouldn't bring up Lucifer's job or his own little habit...  
Dean had seemed as hesitant as he was to talk about his life which left Castiel to wonder what the other bou was hiding. He filed the thought away for later and decided to be as vague as possible with his own answer. "I live with two of my brothers and our father. I actually have three brothers, but Gabriel moved out a year ago which left Lucifer and Michael with Dad and I. My mother left when I was a baby so she doesn't live with us..." Cas explained.

Dean eyed Castiel suspiciously knowing the blue eyed boy was hiding something from him but brushed it off, not wanting to push him. They had only just met after all. "Out of all the angel names your parents could have chosen they picked lucifer?" Dean joked with a small smirk. 

'He acts like him...' Castiel thought. He smiled though, chuckling softly. "I don't know, they could've just gone with Daniel or something that wasn't Satan." He shrugged, smiling.

Dean chuckled lightly. "So, Cas... You don't seem to have many friends and I don't get it.. You're a pretty awesome dude.." He said, his arm draped over the back of Castiel's chair. 

Cas shrugged again. "I'm not really sure but people just don't like associating with me." Actually there were a lot of reasons nobody liked him. They didn't like him because he was an easy target, for one. Nobody wanted to be friends with a weak loser. Another reason could be because everybody knew about Lucifer's reputation from his Highschool days; he'd had a gang, called 'Hell's Angels', and basically was the king of the school. Nobody wanted to be around someone who literally had the devil as their brother. Or maybe it was because he was always quiet and invisible, so maybe nobody except fuckheads like Crowley noticed him. Whatever the reasoning, no one really liked Castiel. 

"Well they're missing out." Dean said with a small smile before the bell rang and the rest of the class began to fill up. 

Castiel returned the smile and watched as the rest of their classmates filed in. Among them was Crowley, who glared at him as he took his seat but thankfully didn't walk over to punch one of them in the face. As soon as the last person took their seat, Mr.Singer began instruction by telling them to work with a partner to write a haiku. 

"Be my partner?" Cas asked, knowing it was either work with Dean or be alone again.  
'Like I'd go with anyone else." Dean though to himself. "Sure, Cas." He said, completely oblivious to the task they'd been given and silently hoping Castiel knew what Mr. Singer was talking about. 

Castiel smiled before ripping a clean sheet of paper out of his notebook. He wrote their names neatly in the corner and looked at Dean questioningly. "What should our haiku be about?" He asked. 

Dean looked blankly at Castiel. "Er.. What's a haiku?" He asked, his cheeks tinted red in embarrassment.

"It's a type of poem that has three lines. The first and third line has five syllables and the second line has seven." Castiel explained. "We just started poetry last week. I guess they hadn't covered that yet at your old school, huh?"

"Yeah, sure.. Why don't you pick, Cas? You actually get this stuff." Dean suggested, he really didn't like getting into classes because he know's he'll have to move to another school soon and forget everything. 

"Okay..." Cas thought for a moment. What was something easy they could write a poem about? School? No. Family? Fuck that. Friends? Definitely not. "How about seasons? Which of the seasons is your favorite, Dean?" He asked. Cas personally loved the snow in Winter but he'd let Dean choose which season they wrote about. 

"Winter, I guess." Dean said. Definitely not summer. That was when his mother had been in the house fire. 

"I like winter." Cas smiled. "Can we take turns writing? Like I can write the first line, you the second, and I'll write the last line?" He asked, looking from the sheet of paper to Dean. 

"Um, sure." Dean replied, still absolutely clueless but he's give it a shot for Cas.

Cas thought about winter and all the wonderful things that happened to the earth during those cold months. He came up with a few lines, counting the syllables on his fingers each time, but they were all too long. Finally, he settled on the shortest line he thought of. 'Ice frosts my window', he wrote down on the paper. It was stupid but it was the only five syllable line he could think of at the moment. 

Dean watched Castiel concentrate on thinking of the first line and he found it intriguing at the way his eyes would change emotion as he thought and the way his eyebrows creased in frustration. Castiel was beautiful. He couldn't bring himself to look away from the boy. 

Cas slid the paper in front of Dean and waited for him to write his line. When nothing happened, Cas noticed that Dean was staring at him and probably had been for the past five minutes. "Dean?" He asked, tapping the other boy on the nose with his pencil. 

Dean shook his head when Castiel tapped his nose. "Wha?" He mumbled. 

"It's your turn, dude." Cas laughed. The way Dean was acting you would've thought he was coming out of hypnosis or something. 

Dean blushed, running his hand through his hair. "Oh" he mumbled. 

Cas nodded, smiling and nudged the paper closer to Dean encouragingly. He was excited to see what the green eyed boy could come up with, since his own imagination proved to be frustratingly bare at the moment. 

Dean tapped his chin with his pencil as he thought of what to write. After 5 minutes of thinking he put the pencil down and let out a frustrated groan. "This is impossible." He complained. 

"No, it's not. You just need to think of wintertime things and pretty soon a line will just pop in your head." Cas assured him. Maybe actually imagining things was hard to do, but it had to be done for them to finish this assignment. 

"I have a short attention span." Dean pouted.

"I can see that." Cas sighed. Clearly Dean wasn't going to be of much help for their haiku, but that was okay. He'd finish it and say Dean helped so the other boy would get credit too. "I'll write your line too, if you want." He offered. 

"If you do it for me I will love you forever" Dean mumbled, leaning his head on the desk. 

'I doubt it', Cas thought but smiled for Dean's benefit. He placed their paper back in front of him and tapped his fingers on the desk as he tried to come up with something else winter themed. He just need two more lines and they be finished. He finally thought of two lines that a eight year old could've written. He counted the syllables on his fingers just to be sure they were the right length. "Okay. This is stupid but it'll have to do..." He mumbled, writing down two lines that sounded as dumb as he thought they would. Line two consisted of, 'Snow sprinkles down upon us' followed by line three which was simply 'Many wait for Spring'. He showed the paper to Dean, waiting for his approval, a sheepish grin on his visage.

"That's amazing, Cas!" Dean said, after examining the paper. A smile spreading across his features. 

"You think so?" Cas asked, a smile of his own appearing. "Do you think it's good enough to turn in?"

Dean nodded with a smile, sitting up properly to observe the room full of students to see everyone still struggling with their assignments. 

Cas read over their paper to double check everything before standing up. "Let's go give it to Mr.Singer then." He said and waited for Dean to follow his lead. 

Dean nodded, standing up an following Castiel to Mr. Singer's desk. 

Mr.Singer looked up from his book when he heard their footsteps. "Boy, you two finished fast." He smiled. Castiel held out their paper which the teacher took happily. He read over it and grinned at the boys. "This is wonderful! Great job, boys." The old man smiled. 

"Thank you, sir." Cas said, returning the man's smile. 

"It was mostly Cas' work." Dean said honestly. He didn't want to take credit for something Castiel worked on while he himself complained stupidly. 

"But Dean helped too." Castiel added quickly, seeing the teach we'd smile falter. Mr.Singer nodded, a suspicious look thrown towards Dean and sent them back to their seats. 

Dean sighed as he and Cas sat down. "Why'd you lie to him, Cas?" He asked, slightly annoyed Castiel let him take credit for something he hardly took part in. 

"So you'd get credit for this class. Besides,you kinda helped so I didn't exactly lie to him." Cas shrugged. He didn't want Dean to get marked as lazy on his first day at this school and Dean had at least tried, so what was the harm in lying to Mr.Singer?

Dean's expression softened. "You didn't have to lie to him, Cas. It's not like I'm gonna be here long enough for my grade's to matter." He explained, the last part slipping out on accident. 

"You're leaving?" Cas asked, panic seeping into his voice. His only friend was going to just move away? He just got here. It hadn't even been one whole day yet! He must've fucked something up. He did something and now the only person that liked him was going to leave and never come back and he would be alone again. 'Great job asshole. You scared him into moving because you're such a freak.', he thought bitterly. 

'Shit.' Dean thought to himself as he heard the panic in Castiel's voice. "No, Cas. Im not leaving right now.. I'm.. My dad makes my brother and I move around a lot...I don't like leaving but if we don't he.." Dean trailed off avoiding Castiel's eyes. "Anyways! I'm not leaving soon so... Live in the moment. I guess" he added, trying to get away from the topic of his father. 

Castiel had a look of sadness in his eyes but tried to cover it up with a smile. He nodded, trying to accept the answer. It didn't make very much sense, which only made the thought that he was leaving because of something Cas had done and the sense that Dean was hiding something grow stronger with the explanation but Cas forced those thoughts to the back of his mind. As the bell rang for lunch, Cas avoided Dean's eyes and gathered up his stuff silently. 

Dean pushed his hair back and let out a huff in frustration before shoving his textbook in his bag. Why did he always mess up every friendship he's ever had. He let out a small winces as get up, the pain in his ribs from his beating last night coming back, causing him to fall back into his chair. 

Castiel spun around, the sadness in his eyes quickly replaced by alarm as he heard his friend hit the chair. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. He reached to help Dean get back up. 

Dean coughed, holding his chest as Castiel helped him up. "I'm fine, Cas. Don't worry." He said, faking a smile. 

"Are you sure? You don't seem okay." Cas asked skeptically. 

Dean sucked in a painful breath and nodded not wanting to bother Castiel with his problems.

"If you're sure..." Cas eyed him warily. "Come on, we can go to my house for the lunch hour, if you want to." He offered. 

Dean coughed slightly but nodded. "I'll have to tell Sammy first." He mumbled.

"Okay. He's a freshman,right?" Cas asked, trying to remember what classes the freshmen had while they had their lunch hour. 

Cas thought for a second and then tugged on Dean's sleeve gently. "Come on. He should be outside for gym right now."

Dean nodded, afraid of speaking because of the pain in his ribs. 

Dean coughed before muttering an "Okay." and following Castiel. 

Cas didn't let go of Dean's sleeve, instead opting to tug him along outside until they reached the courtyard where a class of freshmen were running laps. "Which one is your brother?" He asked quietly, watching the kids run around. He vaguely recalled seeing one of the boys get out of the car with Dean earlier but he couldn't quite remember what he had looked like. 

Before Dean could reply a boy quite tall with longish brown hair yelled had stopped and yelled over to Dean, a bright smile on the young boy's face causing Dean to smile fondly at the boy as he ran over to the two of them.

"I'm guessing you are Sam?" Cas asked the boy, who was just about taller than him. He couldn't believe a thirteen year old was almost taller than him, like what the hell.

Sam nodded. "That would be me, and you are?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the shorter boy. 

"Castiel but you can call me Cas." Cas introduced himself, smiling. 

"Nice to meet ya, Cas." Sam said with a smile. Dean let out a small wince "I'm going to Cas' for lunch hour so behave." Dean said, using a strict, fatherly tone. "When do I have misbehave, Dean?" Sam asked rolling his eyes. "There's a first time for everything." He mumbled back at his little brother. "Jerk." Sam muttered, running back over to the rest of the runners. "Bitch!" Dean called after him before grabbing his rib and letting out a wince he was holding in. 

Cas immediately noticed Dean's pain and tugged him away from the school. They were going to his house so he could get some painkillers from Lucifer for Dean. He knew the green eyed boy had to be pretty banged up, he didn't know what happened to him but he knew he was going to try to help. 

Dean followed Castiel, staying quiet knowing that if he spoke there was a good change it would come out strangled and cause his ribs more pain. He just hoped that Castiel's house wasn't too far because he felt like his legs were about to give out. 

Pretty soon, Cas' house was within view and he tugged Dean along a little quicker. They were in the house in no time. Cas gently deposited Dean on the couch before running through the house calling his brother's name. "Lucifer!!!" 

Dean winced as he sat on the couch. He felt like a burden and sighed looking around the living room, smiling as he spotted what was obviously a photo of Castiel and one of his brother's when they were younger. 

When the downstairs appeared to be empty, Cas ran upstairs and banged on Lucifer's bedroom door, screeching his name. After a few seconds of this, Lucifer yanked open his door with a glare before he saw it was only Castiel. The glare turned into a smile. 

"How may I help you, little brother?" Lucifer asked pleasantly. 

"I have a friend and he needs some really strong pain meds." Cas explained quickly, glancing back to the stairs every few seconds. Lucifer nodded and went back into his room before returning with a ziplock bag that contained a handful of circular white pills. He gave it to Castiel.  
"Will these hurt him?" Cas asked hesitantly. Lucifer was known to be an asshole and Cas wouldn't put it past him to try poisoning somebody.

Lucifer shook his head. "Nope. It's only some OxyContin. Won't hurt him." He grinned. Castiel nodded his thanks and ran back downstairs. He gave the bag of pills to Dean.

"Here. Take a couple of those and you'll feel better." Cas instructed. 

Dean hesitated before taking a few of the pills. "Thanks, Cas." He choked out, his hand still holding into the bruised part of his ribs. 

"You're welcome." Cas said. He watched Dean with worried eyes. His curiosity got the best of him and he just had to know what had happened to his friend. "Dean, what made you hurt your ribs?" He asked. 

Dean's eyes widened in panic, he didn't know how to answer that. He couldn't tell Castiel about his dad but he had to say something. "They're just a little bruised." He mumbled.

"But why are they bruised?" Cas questioned. "Did you get in a fight or something?"

Dean laughed slightly bitterly. "Not exactly." He muttered. 

"Then what happened?" Cas asked. He couldn't imagine why anyone would want to hurt Dean. He was wonderful and handsome, kind and sweet. Cas couldn't picture him doing anything to provoke anyone to hurt him. 

"Cas, i-" Dean wanted to tell Castiel but he couldn't seem to get the words out so all that came out of his mouth was a choked sob as he felt a single tear fall down his cheeks. He scrubbed at his eye aggressively, not wanting Castiel to see him like that. 

Cas sat down beside him and pulled him into a hug, mindful of his ribs. "You can tell me who did it, okay? I won't tell anyone." He promised, feeling very much like a children learning an important secret. 

"I can't, Cas. He'll-" Dean muttered into Castiel's shoulder, another choked son escaping his lips. 

He? Who is he? "He won't know, Dean. Just let me help you and I promise he won't find out." Cas pleaded, clutching the green eyed boy tighter to his chest. 

Dean took a deep breath, nuzzling into Castiel's neck. "John. My dad he..." Dean mumbled hoarsely, not wanting to finish his sentence and keeping his head buried in Castiel's neck, not wanting the blue eyed boy to see him like this. 

Castiel let out a quietly gasp. Dean's father had hurt him? That fucking bastard! Cas silently swore he would kill the asshole if he ever saw him. He pushed his rage to the back of his mind and gently carded his hand through Dean's hair, attempting to calm the other boy down. Dean sounded as if he was on the verge of tears and Cas didn't blame him one bit. 

Dean just nuzzled more into Castiel's warmth. He wasn't used to affection an Castiel was warm and cuddly.. He felt like home to Dean. He could fall asleep right there if they didn't have to go back to school.

Cas smiled down at Dean. He reminded him of a kitten at the moment. He ran his hand through the other boy's hair again and glanced at the clock. He sighed, they only had ten minutes to get back to school. "Dean?" He asked softly. "We gotta get back to school.."

Dean nodded into Castiel's shoulder. "Thanks, Cas.." He said quietly. "I might just... Go back to the motel for the rest of school I can't let Sammy see me like this and my ribs.." He added. 

Cas shook his head. He was not letting Dean go anywhere that his father could be unless absolutely necessary. "You can stay here with me." He insisted. 

"I don't want you to get into trouble, Cas." Dean mumbled, moving so he could look the blue eyed boy in the eyes. "I'll be fine." He added. 

"It's okay, Dean. I'll just get my brother to call the school and tell them I'm sick." Cas insisted. "Luci! Come here!" He yelled. Said brother bounded down the stairs and smiled at the two cuddling on the couch. 

"Yes, dearest brother?" Lucifer asked sweetly. 

"Can you call school and tell them I'm sick? I don't want to leave Dean alone..." Cas pleaded, pulling out the puppy eyed look that always worked. 

"Sure. Have fun with your boyfriend." Lucifer grinned and went back upstairs, phone in hand. 

"See? All taken care of." Cas smiled, blushing slightly at the boyfriend comment. 

"So that's satan?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow at Cas.

Cas nodded. "He's only nice to me because I haven't disagreed with his opinions or got him in trouble yet." He explained. 

"Hm.." Dean hummed in acknowledgement, going back to nuzzle into Castiel's neck. 

Cas tugged a blanket up over them and pulled Dean impossibly closer. 

Dean blushed slightly, letting out a small whimper of pain and hoping Cas didn't hear. He didn't want the other boy to let go of him.

"Sorry.." Cas mumbled into Dean's hair, though he didn't let go. He didn't want to hurt Dean be he also didn't want to let go of him either. He loosened his hold on the other boy slightly. 

"It okay.." Dean whispered, his eyes dropping closed.

Cas smiled at Dean, who looked adorable. He fumbled around in his pocket for his phone and set the alarm for three o' clock so it would wake them up in time for Dean to pick up his brother from school. He knew Sam would probably freak out when the car was there but Dean wasn't. He laid his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes as well. 

Dean soon fell asleep, nuzzled into Cas.

Cas dropped off to sleep a few minutes later. After a few hours, his alarm went off. Cas was woken up to Green Day blaring throughout the living room. 

Dean opened his eyes slowly, wondering where he was as he moved his head away from the warmth that he was snuggled into he remembered his ribs were sore and that he had gone to Cas' to get painkillers and... Shit. He told Castiel about his dad. Dean's eyes widened in panic slightly.

Cas sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he shut off his alarm. "Come on, Dean. We gotta go get Sam from school..." He mumbled, getting up from the comfort of the couch. 

"Yeah.. Okay, Cas." Dean muttered, pushing his hands through his hair and getting away from Cas' personal space. 

Cas stuffed his phone back in his pokey before walking to the base of the staircase. "We'll be back later, Luci!" He called up the stairs. 

"Don't get killed!" Lucifer shouted back, laughter in his tone. Cas shrugged and walked to the door before glancing behind him to see if Dean was following him. He wasn't, he was still on the couch. 

"Are you coming with me, Dean?" Cas asked, puzzlement on his visage. 

Dean shook himself from his thoughts. "Sorry.." He mumbled, getting up and following Castiel. He just hoped his dad was still out. Dean wasn't in the mood for a beating tonight and he didn't want Sammy to see it but he knew he would probably be at the motel and drunk. With his luck he'd probably get a broken ankle tonight. 

Cas waited until Dean was behind him before they left. Out of habit, he grabbed onto Dean's sleeve as they walked to the school. Maybe it was because he thought Dean would just disappear if he let go of him for more than a few seconds. 

Dean smiled as he felt Castiel hold onto his sleeve and thought for a second before deciding 'fuck it' and moved to hold Castiel's hand. 

Cas glanced back at Dean, looked down at their joined hands, looked back at Dean and grinned before tightening his grip on Dean's hand slightly. A wonderful thing was finally happening to Castiel and it was all because of the wonderful green eyed boy. As couldn't be happier. Looking back in front of them, Cas continued walking confidently, grin still in place. 

Dean looked over at Cas and smiled softly before looking ahead and continuing the walk to school. 

As the high school came into view, Cas wondered if Dean would let go of his hand. There were still quite a few students on the grounds and Cas knew the majority of their school was homophobic and would probably love another reason to hate him. He hoped Dean wouldn't drop his hand, but he didn't want their whole school to hate Dean just for holding hands with him. 

As they approached the school Dean looked over and saw the worry in his eyes but didn't let go of his hand. He didn't care if the school was going to hate him. It's not like he'd be there for long anyways. 

Once they were actually on the grounds and were walking through the parking lot, Cas stopped and looked at the rows of cars questioningly, trying to remember what Dean's car had looked like. Half of the cars in the parking lot were black, and the color was the only thing Cas had actually noticed about Dean's car. "Which one's yours?" He asked. His searching wasn't exactly helped by the fact that Sam wasn't standing anywhere remotely close to any of the cars. He was out in the courtyard talking to some other kids. 

"The 67 Chevy Impala, dude." Dean answered dragging Castiel to the car. 

"I totally knew that!" Cas scoffed, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. He wasn't exactly a car expert and probably couldn't name any one of the cars around him to save his life. 

Dean chucked. "Sure, Cas." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes fondly. "I'll go get Sa-" before Dean could finish his sentence his younger brother was jogging over to them. "Dean, why didn't you come back to school?" Sam asked, his voice sounding threatening but it also seemed laced with worry. "Chest pains, Sammy. Cas got me some painkillers and I stayed at his for the rest of the day. No big deal." Dean explained casually but that didn't stop Sam eyeing him with suspicion. He let out a sigh. "Sure, Dean." He muttered opening the back seat of the car and throwing his bag in. "Nice to see you've found a boyfriend on the first day." He added with a smile as he jumped in the car and shut the door. Dean blushed furiously, looking down at his and Castiel's hands that were still laced together. 

"Can we be real boyfriends?" Cas asked hesitantly. He knew they had only just met, but he really liked Dean. Dean had to like him too, right? The green eyed boy had initiated the hand holding and he fell asleep cuddling with Cas. That had to mean something, right? Cas sure hoped it did. He'd never dated anybody for real before, he occasionally got asked out by popular people who loved laughing at the hope that Cas had each time but he'd never actually dated anybody before. 

Dean didn't even have to think. "Sure, Cas." He said with a small smile. "Want a life home?" He asked, not wanting Castiel to walk home alone and risk him running into Crowley. 

Cas grinned and nodded. He was happier than he could ever remember being. He had a boyfriend! And it was Dean! He was so ecstatic he could throw a fucking party. This was a huge thing for him. He was dating Dean! 

Dean smiled fondly at Cas. He had no idea how dating him would make Cas that happy but he was glad it did. He opened the shotgun door for Cas and gestured for him to get in.

Cas climbed into the car and closed his door before buckling his seatbelt. 

Dean got into the drivers seat not long after and began driving. "So, Cas.. How did you and dean meet exactly?" Sam asked from the back seat. 

"This dude was taunting me and Dean threatened to beat his face in." Cas explained. Okay so it wasn't exactly a Hollywood movie meeting but Cas wouldn't change it if he had the chance. 

Sam laughed. "Yeah that sounds like Dean." He said with a smile. "Shut it, Sam." Dean mumbled, blushing slightly.

Cas smiled softly at their bickering, bright blue eyes rolling. 

When dean pulled up outside of Castiel's house he tried to hide the look of sadness on his face. He was not looking forward to getting back to motel or seeing his father. "I'll see you tomorrow, Cas." Dean said, leaning over to Cas an pressing a kiss to the other boy's cheek. 

Cas grinned, cheeks reddening. "See ya, Dean. Bye Sam." He said before getting out of the car. He made sure not to slam the door behind him and went in the house. Lucifer was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, smirk in place. 

"Aw, Dean and Cas up a tree..." Sam teased and dean hit his head against the steering wheel. "Shut it." He muttered as he began to drive them back to the motel. 

"Have fun on your date, Cassie?" Lucifer asked, laughing at how Cas blushed furiously. 

"Don't call me that!" Cas exclaimed indignantly. "And it wasn't a date, all we did was get his brother from school." He muttered. 

"The thing on the couch sure looked like a date to me. You were cuddling together and he was all snuggled up to you as you slept. It was so cute I think I might faint." Lucifer cooed, swooning overdramatically 

When Dean and Sam had gotten to the motel they had walked in and placed their stuff in the motel room and not long after their father had entered the room, drunk. Dean told Sam to go to the bathroom and he did, but he didn't come out till morning.  
`  
Cas sighed and brushed past Lucifer to go upstairs to his room. When he got to his bedroom, he glanced at the razor on his nightstand but didn't pick it up. Today had been a great day for him, he didn't feel like he needed to slice his skin tonight. For the first time in a long time, Castiel went to bed without creating new cuts on his skin.

When Sam had exited the bathroom in the morning he saw no sign of his brother. "Where's Dean?" The younger Winchester asked his father. "Hospital." His father crumbled in response from the chair he was sitting in. Sam sighed, it wasn't the first time this has happened. He turned on his cellphone to see a text from Dean. "Go to school, Sammy. I'm fine just a broken arm. Tell Cas I'm sorry I couldn't come in." Sam replied quickly. "Okay, Dean.”

Castiel was waiting at the door to their English classroom when Sam came in. He started to worry when he didn't see Dean with him. What could've happened to Dean to make him make school? What had John done to him last night? A cold feeling of dread settled in the pit of Castiel's stomach as Sam came closer. 

Sam walked slowly walked up to Cas, unsure of what to tell him. "Cas, Dean's not going to be in school. He's uh... In hospital." He muttered, trying to look like he wasn't worried about his older brother. 

Cas went back to his locker and got his backpack before walking back over to Sam. "Then I'm not going to be here either." He said eerily calm. On the inside, he was plotting ways to kill John Winchester. That fucking bastard had sent his boyfriend to the hospital and Castiel wasn't about to let him get away with it. He turned around and headed for the main doors. 

Sam followed Castiel the moved to stand infront of him. "Cas, I know you're worried about Dean. I am too but he'll just get angry if we do anything. He said its just a broken leg, he'll be fine. You can visit him but.. Don't try anything else." Sam explained to Castiel before patting the older boy's shoulder. "I'll see you later, okay?" He asked.

Cas nodded and left the school lot. He went back to his house and found his brother about to leave the driveway in his car.  
"Lucifer, can you drive me to the hospital really quickly?" He asked, running up to the car window. 

"Sure. Get in." Lucifer shrugged, unlocking the doors. Castiel smiled gratefully and hopped in the passenger side. Lucifer broke plenty of speeding laws on the drive to the hospital but Cas was too worried about Dean to care. As soon as Lucifer pulled up to the entrance of the hospital, Cas jumped out of the car and ran in. 

"What room is Dean Winchester in?" Cas practically screamed at the poor receptionist. 

The receptionist looked at the young boy. "I'm sorry, you are?" the woman asked, eyebrow raised. 

"Castiel, I'm his boyfriend." Cas growled impatiently. Damnit, he did not have time for these pointless questions.

The woman looked at him wide eyes before telling him which room the Winchester was in. 

Castiel ran down the hall without so much as the thanking the woman, searching desperately for Dean's number on the white doors. Finally he came to it and ran in. "Are you okay?" He asked the green eyed boy anxiously. 

Dean looked at Castiel in shock. "Cas you didn't have to come... I'm fine." Dean croaked out. It was an obvious lie. The older Winchester was now sporting a black eye, split lip and a broken leg. He also seemed to have some light bruising around his neck and there was doubt more under his hospital gown. 

"You are not! Look what he did to you, Dean!" Cas cried and ran over to the bed where said boy was sitting. He sat next to him and lightly brushed his fingers over his black eye. "Look how banged up you are..." He said softly, sadness in his eyes. 

Dean winced slightly at the contact. "It's not the worst I've gotten." He muttered 

"What's the worst that he's ever done? You look like you went three rounds with a semi truck right now." Castiel frowned. Dean looked like shit and this wasn't even the worst John had done to him before? It was decided, Cas was definitely killing the man once he saw him. 

"That's not important, Cas... I can't let Sammy go back to the motel.. Back to him can you look after him?" Dean asked, before letting out a cough. "Please." He choked out, still caressing the boy's cheek. 

"Of course I will." Cas nodded. "My dad's never home anyway so he won't care and I know Lucifer wont mind if Sam stays with us for awhile."

"Thanks, Cas.." Dean mumbled, his eyes dropping closed as his hand slid down off Castiel's face. As Dean started drifting off John walked into the hospital room. "Who the hell are you?!" He asked, his eyes wide. He had obviously been drinking as he reeked of alcohol but Dean was in too much pain to wake up and yell at his father. 

"That's not important. Who the hell are you?" Cas returned the question, though he had a feeling he knew who it was. He shifted on the bed so he was shielding Dean from the man with his body. Judging from the stench of alcohol, Cas had a sneaking suspicion that this man was John Winchester. Since this wasn't exactly the ideal place to get weapons, Cas couldn't kill the man right now but he would as soon as he got another chance.

"Don't use that tone with me, boy. I'm his father, show me some respect." The old man slurred, Dean flinched. The young Winchester felt tired, he just wanted to sleep but he knew his father wouldn't leave without a fight. He took comfort knowing that his father couldn't do anything to Castiel while they were in the hospital. 

"I think you should leave." Cas ground out defiantly. This bastard would never get respect from him, men like him don't deserve respect. 

"And why on earth would I listen to you, I'm his dad. What're you to him?" The man slurred out his words, hardly even standing up.

"It doesn't matter." Cas replied. He knew that if he said he and Dean were dating, John would probably be all the more pissed and hurt Dean again- hospital rules be damned. He didn't know for sure but he had a strong suspicious that John Winchester was probably homophobic. 

Soon a nurse entered the hospital room, she could obviously smell the stench of alcohol on John. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The woman said softly. John glared at her then back at Castiel before exiting the room.

Castiel smiled at the woman gratefully. "Thank you." He said sincerely, repositioning himself on the bed so that he was laying next to Dean. The bed was just big enough to fit them both. 

The woman smiled. "It's no problem. You two are a cute couple by the way." The woman said, smiling softly before leaving the two boys. Dean had fallen asleep from the pain medication he had been given before hand but even in his sleepy daze he reached to cuddle Castiel, mumbling incoherently as he attempted to grab the other boy.

Cas turned onto his side and scooted himself backwards until he was pressed up against Dean's chest so the other boy could wrap his arms around him if he wanted. 

Dean subconsciously wrapped his arms around the shorter boy and nuzzled into his neck.

Castiel sighed contently and smiled as Dean held him. He nuzzled impossibly closer to Dean. He was so warm and comfortable. Dean felt like home. Cas never wanted to leave the comfort of Dean's arms. It was perfection laying there with him. He absolutely loved it. 

After a few hours Dean woke up to the smaller boy in his arms and smiled softly. Even though he was in pain from his father's beating he still found being around Castiel made the world brighter. 

Castiel noticed Dean stirring and tilted his head so he could grin at the other boy. "Good morning, Sunshine!" He beamed. 

Dean laughed hoarsely, nuzzling into the other boy's neck. "Did I miss anything while I was sleepin'?" He asked, pressing a kiss to Castiel's neck. 

"Nope. All you missed was watching me think about how much I love you." Cas shrugged, smiling. He decided not to tell him about the whole John fiasco. 

"Really?" Dean hummed, against his neck. "What's the time?" He asked, his words muffled in Castiel's neck. 

Cas glanced at the clock on the wall opposite them. "One thirty."

"Okay, 3 hours until Sammy gets out." Dean said quietly. He knew Sam was going to stay with Cas but he was still worried about his little brother. 

Castiel could practically feel the worry emanating from his boyfriend. "I'll bring him straight here after I pick him up and then we'll go straight to my house." Cas promised,trying to reassure the boy. 

Dean took a deep breath. "Okay." He said quietly, placing a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. 

Castiel smiled at the kiss as a slight blush began to colour his cheeks. "I love you." He sighed happily. 

Dean smiled softly. "I love you too, angel." He whispered into Castiel's ear.

Castiel grinned. Dean's words were like music to his ears. And even if there was a stubborn voice in his head screaming,'Don't believe him! He's a liar! NOBODY LOVES YOU!', Cas decided to ignore it in favor of happiness for the time being. 

"You don't have to pick up Sam. I can text him to walk. I don't want you running into Crowley." Dean said, realising that Crowley would probably torment the boy while Dean wasn't around.

"No, it's fine. I don't have a car so I'll get Lucifer to drive me to the school and back with Sam." Cas explained. That meant he was safe for one day at least. He knew Dean couldn't go back to school until he healed up for at least a week or two which meant Cas would have to face Crowley alone while he was gone. That wasn't exactly anything new but he was pretty sure Crowley hated him more because of Dean now. Oh well, more things to hide from Dean. 

"Cas... I don't think you should go into school while I'm not there." Dean muttered, stroking the side of Castiel's face. 

"If I don't, the school will call my Dad and then I'll have to deal with Michael until he gets back from his business trip. Michael's a dick all the time but he's a right bastard when he's pissed." Castiel sighed. He'd rather face Crowley fora couple weeks alone then face Michael while their father was gone for who knew how long. The last time Michael was pissed at him, he locked him in a closet for a week and wouldn't let him be alone for two weeks afterwards for some ungodly reason. 

Dean stroked the side if Castiel's face. "You'll tell me if Crowley does anything, right?" Dean asked, his eyes started watering slightly. "If he did something bad to you I don't what I'd do, Cas.." He murmered, his voice cracking slightly as he nuzzling his face into the crook of Castiel's neck to avoid Cas seeing his tears. It was probably failing seeing as the tears were falling on the shorter boy's neck.

"I will, Dean. I promise I will." Cas assured him softly, rubbing circles on his back gently. "It's okay..." He shushed, trying to stop the green eyed boy's tears. He didn't want Dean to worry about him and never wanted to be the reason for his tears. "I promise." He whispered, carding his hand through his hair. 

Dean took a deep breath, Inhaling Castiel's scent. "I love you." He whispered into Cas' ear. 

"I love you too." Cas whispered back, smiling. 

Dean moved to face Castiel. "I must look horrible." He mumbled, remember how cut up his face was because of his father as he rubbed his eyes and let out a wince at the feel of his hand on his black eye. 

Castiel shook his head. "It's not that bad.." He lied smoothly. Dean did look like shit but he didn't need to know that. 

"You don't have to lie, Cas." Dean said with a soft smile, pressing a kiss to the shorter boy's lips. 

Castiel paused for moment. Dean Winchester was kissing him! After a second, Castiel kissed him back, smiling softly. 

Dean felt Castiel smile into the kiss, grinning back he deepened it slightly. 

Castiel allowed Dean to deepen the kiss. After a few moments of kissing, Castiel pulled away slightly. "I won't lie." he said softly. Even if Crowley did happen to do anything to him, he most certainly would lie. He didn't want Dean to worry about him. 

"I know, Cas. I trust you." Dean said, caressing Castiel's cheek.

Cas smiled hesitantly and leaned into the touch. He never had any affection shown towards him ever. He wasn't used to this. His dad and brothers weren't really the type to show things like affection and even if they were, it wouldn't be shown towards Castiel. His own family didn't even like him enough to hug him or anything like that, so why did Dean? CAS had a feeling that Dean would stop liking him so much after he found out his secrets. 

Dean looked at Castiel worriedly. "Are you okay, Cas?" He asked softly.

"Huh?" Cas asked stupidly, coming back to reality. He blinked a couple of times to clear his mind of his thoughts and focused on trying to recall what Dean had said. "Oh yeah. I'm fine." He nodded, lie slipping easily from his mouth. No, he wasn't fine. He felt like shit for lying to Dean and hiding things from him and he just knew it would get worse tomorrow after Crowley beat the shit out if him. 

Dean could tell that Castiel was lying to him. He nuzzled into Castiel's neck before whispering "Please don't lie to me, Cas." He said. His voice cracking slightly. 

Castiel frowned. That was weird. Dean could see through his bullshit. Why could Dean tell when he was lying? Castiel assumed it came from how Dean probably had to lie for the bruises his father left so he naturally could spot a lie. But still, it kind of unnerved Cas. He had to be careful about what he said from now on. "Okay. I won't." He said softly. He knew he was making a promise he couldn't keep but Dean didn't necessarily need to know that. 

"I'll be back in school as soon as I can be. Even if I have to go in on crutches." Dean promised, his words vibrating on Castiel's neck as he spoke. 

"You don't have to do that, Dean. You need to take some time to heal up." Cas mumbled into his hair. 

"I'll be fine, Cas." Dean reassured.

Cas looked unconvinced but reluctantly nodded. "Fine. But I so much as think you're in pain, I'm getting you more painkillers."

Dean smiled softly. "You should pick up Sammy. Just come back as soon as you do." He said, caressing Castiel's cheek. 

"I'll come straight back, I promise." Cas smiled. He pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead before getting up and leaving the room. As he walked out of the hospital, he pulled out his phone and dialled his brother's number. After a few rings, Lucifer answered. 

"Yes, dear Cassie?" The blonde asked. Castiel could hear the smile in his tone. 

"Could you come get me from the hospital and run me to school and back? I promised to pick up Dean's little brother for him..." Castiel explained sheepishly. He didn't like asking his brothers for rides but it was necessary right now.

"Of course! I'll be there in a minute." Lucifer said and then the line went dead. Castiel slid the phone back in his pocket and waited for his brother. 

 

Dean sighed as Cas left, closing his eyes slowly beginning to fall asleep. That was of course until his dad came in absolutely drunk and angry.  
`  
Lucifer pulled up a few seconds later. Castiel, oblivious to what was going behind closed doors, got in and they drove off to the school. 

"Who was that boy?" John asked, his voice bitter. "And I was just about to go to sleep." Dean mumbled, sarcastically. "Don't speak with me in that tone, boy." John spat through gritted teeth.  
`  
About fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the High School. When there, Sam was standing unsurely in the empty parking lot. "So I take it that is the brother?" Lucifer asked. Castiel nodded. They drove right up next to Sam. Cas rolled down his window and smiled at him. 

"Come on Sam. Dean said for me to take you to see him." He explained. Sam nodded and climbed in the backseat. Lucifer turned around in his seat and smiled creepily at him. 

"Hi. I am Satan." The blonde told him causally. Cas flicked his ear while Sam just stared with an eyebrow raised. 

"I'm sorry for my brother.His name is Lucifer." Castiel apologised, looking back at the young Winchester. Sam nodded. Not another word was said as Lucifer pulled back onto the main road. 

"Go away, John." Dean stated simply. "Not till you tell me who that faggot was." John retorted. "Like it's your business." Dean hissed.

"Is Dean okay?" Sam broke the silence a few minutes later. "Like actually okay? I know he says he's fine all the time when he's not." The Winchester continued.

"Yeah, he’s okay. He's pretty banged up but he'll be fine." Cas assured him. 

"I'm your father." John said angrily. "You stopped being that a long time ago." Dean muttered bitterly. "Oh I get it. He's your boyfriend isn't he? I knew you were a fag." John tormented Dean. "What if he is?" Dean asked, trying to sound like he wasn't afraid. 

"Are we almost there, Luci?" Castiel asked anxiously, biting his lip in worry. Something was wrong, he could feel it in his gut. Something was happening at the hospital. Cas didn't know what, but he just knew it had to do with Dean. 

"Five more minutes." Lucifer said softly, sensing his brother's worry.  
`  
"I always guessed you were a fag." John spat out at Dean. "Good for you." Dean mumbled. "I already told you not to use that tone, Dean." Now, you better break up with that freak or you are never coming back!" John yelled at Dean. "Castiel isn't a freak!" Dean yelled back, his hands clenching angrily.

The drive to the hospital went by agonisingly slowly. Cas kept glancing at the clock, feeling as though hours must have dragged by, only to find out a mere few seconds had ticked past.  
"Go faster?" Cas asked, trying to keep the urgency in his tone hidden. It didn't work and so Lucifer slammed on the gas and sped towards the hospital. 

"Anyone willing to go out with you has got to be." John snarled at him. "C-Cas isn't like that!" Dean stuttered out, John knew where to hit him where it hurt. "You ruin everything you touch, boy." John said with a cold smirk on his lips. 

The tires of Lucifer's black mustang squealed as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. The car had barely even stopped before Castiel was racing towards the entrance. He flung the doors open and ran until he found Dean's room, Lucifer and Sam hot on his trail. Cas could hear the yelling from down the hall and he instantly recognised who it belonged to. Though he had only met the man once, but John Winchester's voice was unmistakable. Cas flew down the hall and kicked the door open. "What the hell are you doing here?!" He screamed at John, skidding to a halt in front of Dean. 

"Seeing my son of course." John replied, faking a smile. Dean watched as Castiel stood infront of them. "If you hurt him I will kill you, John. Don't doubt that." Dean threatened. John glanced at Dean then back at Castiel an evil smirk on his lips. 

"You have no right to be here," Castiel hissed. "Only people who actually care are supposed to be in here."  
Lucifer watched the exchange from the edge of the doorway, keeping his hand out to stop Sam from entering the room. He couldn't do anything to help either Dean or Castiel in this situation, the least he could do was ensure Sam didn't end up in the crossfire. 

"And you care about him?" John asked, letting out a bitter laugh. "He's nothing. All he does is ruin everything he touches." He continued. "And you can talk /dad/." Dean spat back bitterly.

"Of course I do!" Castiel yelled. "Who wouldn't? He's a wonderful person!"  
It was true. Dean was kind and gentle and smart and had all of the qualities of an amazing human being. Castiel couldn't possibly understand why the man in front of him couldn't just see that about his son. 

John sneered. "Right." He said, smirking. "So wonderful he let his mother die." He added. Dean's eyes widened. "How can you blame me for that?" He asked his dad, his voice trembling. "Because it's true." His father answered simply. "I was four! How on earth could it have been my fault!" Dean argued, his voice getting hoarse. 

"You fucking- what the hell!" Castiel yelled. That was the last straw, that tremble in Dean's voice gave him all the courage he needed to swing back his arm and throw a well aimed punch at John's face. 

"You shouldn't have done that." John said, holding the part of his face that Castiel had hit. He raised his fist to punch Castiel but a nurse then walked in. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The same nurse from last time said with a fake smile. "Don't make me call security." She threatened. John casted a glare at Castiel and Dean before walking out of the room. 

Once he was convinced the monster was gone, Castiel turned around and scanned Dean with his eyes. "You all right?" He asked, wanting to be sure John hadn't inflicted any new injuries on the boy. Lucifer and Sam quietly walked in and sat by the window, watching the two boys in silence. 

Dean nodded. "I'm fine." He half-lied, glancing over at Sammy and feeling ashamed of himself. 

Sam instantly recognised the expression his brother wore. It was the perfect mix of guilt and self loathing that contorted his features when he thought he had done something to be a bad brother for Sam. The young Winchester couldn't fathom why it was there now, all Dean had done recently was endure their father's rage to protect him. How did that make him a horrible older brother?

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Sammy." Dean whispered, looking down and biting his lip. 

Sam shook his head. "Don't apologise, Dean." He said softly. "'S not your fault he came here to scream at you."

"Yeah well shouldn't have to see it." Dean muttered, avoiding everyone's eyes. 

A tense silence encased the group, nearly suffocating them all. Lucifer abruptly stood up and took Sam gently by the shoulder. "We're going to get some coffee." He said and steered Sam out the door before the tension strangled them both. 

"I shouldn't have brought Sam here." Cas admitted quietly. "He wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't brought him here. "

"Cas, you didn't know. I asked for you to bring him here. None of this was your fault." Dean said sternly, looking at Castiel. 

"See? If it wasn't my fault, it wasn't your fault either. It was John's fault for showing up in the first place." Castiel reasoned. 

"I should have been stronger I should have told him to leave.." Dean rambled, running a hand through his hair. 

Castiel shook his head and pulled Dean's hand into his own gently. "Oh honey," He mumbled. "Stop being so hard on yourself, you couldn't have stopped him if you wanted to. It would've just hurt you worse in the long run."

Dean took a deep breath. "John was right though. I don't deserve you." He said softly. 

"Of course not. You never done anything bad enough to deserve a fuck up like me." Castiel admitted, more to himself than to Dean. The green eyed boy deserved someone who was smart and attractive and nice and wonderful, he deserved everything Castiel would never be. He didn't deserve the scarred liar that Castiel was. 

"Castiel.. You know I'm not that stupid right?" Dean said softly stroking the boy's hand with his thumb soon his thumb moved down to Castiel's wrist, stroking the cuts that littered the blue eyed boy's wrist. "I know the signs." He whispered.

Castiel kept his eyes downcast and tried in vain to cover his wrist with his sleeve. But it was too late, Dean knew and that terrified Castiel more than anything. He was going to leave him now, the only good thing that ever happened to him and he fucks it up two days after it happens. Great job, Castiel, he thinks. Great fucking job. 

Dean kept a tight grip on Castiel's hand, noticing his panic. "Cas, It's fine. I'm not leaving you." He said softly. "Castiel, I'm never going to leave you." 

"Yes, you will. Everyone does eventually. Don't keep promises you can't keep, Dean." Castiel sighed mournfully. Castiel knew this story. He'd lived through this very argument many times before. The few friends he had had in the past always made the exact same promise, whether they knew about his scars or not, and they all left him in the end. They always found somebody better, just as Dean would eventually. 

"Castiel look at me." Dean demanded, attempting to look into Castiel's eyes. 

Castiel reluctantly looked up at Dean, breaking his staring contest with the floor. 

"I'm not leaving you, Cas. Never. I don't care if you're scarred or broken. I'll fix you. Hell, I'm not exactly perfect myself." Dean said, honestly. "I'm not lying to you, Castiel." He continued, his voice soft. 

Oh how Castiel wished that could be true. He wished Dean would never leave him, that he could actually fix him. But the truth was that he couldn't, and that was just the way things worked. "But Dean, you can't fix me. I would know, I've tried many a time." Castiel admitted quietly. He had. He'd tried too many times to count. 

"Cas, you're stronger than you think." Dean said, bringing a hand up to caress Castiel's cheek. "All you have to do is let me in." He whispered. 

Castiel sat silently for awhile, thinking about Dean's words. 'All you have to do is let me in...' He didn't want to, honestly he didn't. If he let him in, he'd get attached. If he got attached, it'd kill him once Dean left. The last time he'd let somebody in, they stayed roughly two years, promised to never leave, left two days later, and now they won't even look at him. Castiel didn't want that to happen with Dean. "I just can't take the risk..." He whispered. 

"Cas, please." Dean whispered. "Next to Sammy you're the only one I've got." His eyes began tearing up. 

"I just-I..." Cas was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to explain that he couldn't trust Dean like that, that he'd been crushed the last time he'd trusted someone so fully, that he didn't want to lose Dean. He couldn't find a way to put any of into words. He just pulled Dean into an embrace and held onto the boy for dear life. 

Dean returned the embrace, tracing small circles on Castiel's back. "I know you think I'll leave but there's nothing you can say or do to make that happen." He whispered into Cas' ear. 

"But you will." Castiel insisted, sighing into Dean's shoulder. He knew Dean would leave. He would fuck something up and Dean would just leave him alone again. He knew it in his heart of hearts that that's what would happen. 

"Castiel, I keep my promises." Dean whispered into Castiel's ear. "I know what it's like for everyone to leave but now we can have each other." He said stroking Castiel's hair.

Castiel pulled back slightly to turn hopeful eyes up at Dean. "You-you mean it? You promise you won't leave me alone?" He asked, sounding very much like a small child. He didn't want to risk it, he knew very well Dean would go away eventually, but the green eyed boy sounded so convincing, Cas found himself believing him. 

"I've never meant anything more." Dean said, smiling softly at Cas. He couldn't leave the boy even if the world depended on it. He was already attached. He loved Cas and no one, not even John, would change that. 

Castiel couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. A real smile. Not the fake one he'd been using the past few years. An actual genuine smile. "You mean it." He repeated, just to make sure he'd heard right. 

Dean smiled back, nodding at Cas before bringing him into a deep, passionate kiss.


End file.
